Thank you Bright Eyes....

Wouldn't it just figure that today of all days I come across just such a song....

Its a way of keeping me in check i suppose. Helping me remember just incase i forgot... as if i could ever forget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh Lyrics

The phone slips from a loose grip.
Words were missed then some apology like I didn’t want to tell you this it’s just some guys she has been hanging out with oh I don’t know the past couple of weeks I guess.
Thank you and hang up the phone.
Let the funeral start.
Hear the casket close.
Let’s pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat.
The laughter pours from under doors in this house.
I don’t understand that sound no more.
It seems artificial like a T.V. set.

Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh this weight it must be satisfied.
You offer only one reply.
You know not what you do.
But you tear and tear your hair from roots.
From that same head you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die.
Well ha ha ha.

But I remember everything the words we spoke on freezing South street.
And all those mornings watching you get ready for school.
You combed your hair inside that mirror.
The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears.
Something about those bright colors always made you feel better.
But now we speak with ruined tongues and the words we say aren’t meant for anyone.
It’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, but there was once you said you hate my suffering and you understood and you’d take care of me.
You would always be there, well where are you now?

Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, the plans were never finalized but left to hang like yarn and twine dangling before my eyes.
As you tear and tear your hair from roots, from that same head that you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove that our love would never die.
As I sing and sing of awful things, the pleasure that my sadness brings as my fingers press onto the strings you get another clumsy chord.

Haligh, Haligh, an awful lie.
This weight will now be satisfied.
I'm gonna give you only one reply, I know not who I am but I talk in the mirror to the stranger that appears.
Our conversations are circles and always one sided, nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back to this meaning that I lack.
He says the choices were given and now you must live them or just not live, but do you want that?

Senoir speeches may be finished, but i'm not.


Chad, I don't always treat you as well as i could, and probably should. I know you try to go out of your way for my sake and I am truly far more greatful than I let people know. Even though sometimes you act without thinking, I know you do what you do from the heart. Thank you for just being my little brother and caring.

Josh, I wasn't kidding when I asked where to start. We may not have much time behind us but we've accumulated more history than is healthy. From the day you taught me that Pearl Jam song to the day we "became official" the the day we parted those particular ways right up to today, I love you. We were something short of lethal for each other after that month, yet as friends, we have vastly overcome an inumerable amount of trials and tribulations. Believe it or not, you helped me to grow. I"ll see you in the college group, where i'll undoubtedly start more trouble.

Randy, I'll admit, you did make me a tad nervous that first time I recall meeting you, but now, though I should likely fear you more, I don't feel threatened at all. I don't care what they tell you, theres nothing wrong with tou. You're made the way you are for a reason. God doesn't screw up. You're a deeply compassionate person but be careful how far you let that go. Some times you set yourself up to get hurt. I love you, even though you deliberately call me babe just to piss me off.

Julie, you are such a sweet person. I love girl chatting with you and carrying you across fields and sitting on Chads car. Thanks for all the drives home, and the chats about whatever came along throughout the time. You are one of those people I will miss not seeing in Bible Study. Your passion for Christ is amazing and I hope one day to be even half that.

Lara, one of the first people who went out of their way to talk to me. All the inside jokes we share about gushies and sucking at it. I haven’t had a whole lot of great inside jokes in a couple of years. You are far more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. I don’t know what you’re so afraid of in seeing something grand in yourself, but you shouldn’t be.

Tracy, you are by far the friendliest person I have ever met. Yes, I still have the pencil like I said I would, and I think it is time for you to hang on to it until your senior speech, which I plan on attending. Bunking next to you at Pine Cove was an awesome experience that I will never forget. I love how you don’t hold prejudgement on anyone and you don’t allow anyone to pre judge you. I love it how you aren’t afraid to ask questions even if you think everyone around you already knows the answer. I admire such strength in you. You are a beautiful, smart and loving person and don’t ever let anyone convince you that you are a single thing less; not friends, boyfriends, doctors, nobody. You are beautiful.

Saija, you have the most giving spirit I have ever seen in a human being. Your kindheartedness, smiles and handshakes for being me have been such an encouragement.

Dani, you have one of the most unique spirits I have ever seen. You are unbelievably creative and talented with everything you do. Talking to you is always a pleasure and an honor (and you’re just so darn cute)

Heather D, I love how you don’t care about what anyone else thinks about you and how you jump in and speak your mind at any cost. Thank you for talking to me on the phone for hours and letting me get to know you. Thank you for trying to get to know me.

Heather S, You, unfortunately, had to see me at some of my worst points. You were too often the one taking me back to my house on Wednesdays when I least wanted to be there and was most about to snap. You helped keep me sane on those nights by just allowing me to rant and rave about whatever drama was happening in my life. Thank you for being a friend.

Bekah, in all the time I spent learning from you and watching you grow and learn, I never could have imagined that I was teaching you or helping you in any fashion of the concept. I have always valued the things you say because you always seem to think about what you’re going to say before you spew out a bunch of words, which is usually what I do. Thank you for teaching me and for taking something from all the rambles I thought were accomplishing nothing.

To all senior girls, for whatever reason, you tolerated me, in all of my imperfections and quirks. I don’t know why, and I know sometimes I had some trouble connecting with you on levels I would have liked to, but thank you for giving me a glimpse of what the body should look like and how vastly wonderful this trip can be.

To the junior girls, you were the ones that I connected with the most. Maybe its b/c I’m younger at heart, maybe its coincidence, but thanks for befriending me and allowing me to be a part of your lives.


I am far from finished.

My innards feel bad. Too much soda, methinks.

So, senior speech night, which i kind of dreaded, partly because i didn't have a speech planned, mostly b/c It means that i won't be going back to that room for lessons, but Oh how i'll be going back. I love those people. Yeah, I made a speech, probably went way over time, which I expected to do. Didn't elaborate nearly as much as i wanted to. That starts now.....


Brent, when I say you've made me think, I mean that you've helped me to begin evaluating why i do the things I do, you know, likely, more than anyone that I do things without thinking and you've taught me to really chat with myself about why i do what i do and believe what i believe and think what i think. You've given me room to grow and in some cases shrink, to fly and to stumble, to learn and to have stupidhead. You've allowed me to be who I am and you've slowly helped beat that old masterpeice theme into my head. I'm defanantly on the cheap abstract things step, but hey, those are worth millions right?

Steve-O, I connect to things through music, and I think its so great that you get up there and give it your all even when we don't and you never stop smiling even when we do. I've never been much good at starting conversation, and i assume you've picked up on that, but you made that easier in that there was no intimidation factor and even if i had nothing to say, there would always be a song. You have a gift and Christ shines through in you.

Nathan, you got through my thick head. Maybe its just coincidence that after years of searching and questioning, your voice came through loud and clear, but i find that unlikely. You're being prepared for something amazing, and everybody knows it, even if nobody says it. Perhaps i gave you one of the greatest days of your life, but the story works two fold here. Coincidence or not, you were an enormous part of one of the most important days of my life. You have been a light for me in the confuzzled darkness of my own stubborness. This is a vast accomplishment.

Wes, I don't know what your story is. I don't know how similar or different we really are, but I see strength in you. That Tuesday night, I was feeling pretty down and pretty alone; invisible if you will. I don't know what you knew or didn't know, but you stopped to see what was up with me. Out of the clear blue sky, you gave me that big old hug and told me that you were glad that i came around. You were the first real "big dog" to tell me that and to show me that it was okay that i was around, and that you didn't mind, even liked that i showed up week after week. I cried that day, and i'm not a crier. Its nearly impossible for me, but i felt that loved and I wish i could adequately thank you for what you've done for me. I've always wanted a big brother. You are the very epitome of the brother I always pretended i had. You are very much the big brother i never had.

Jude, I didn't forget you. I couldn't if i tried. You truly are one of those huge reasons i kept coming back. In a sense, you accepted me, no strings attached because you didn't really know me. Thank you for accepting me dispite who i might have been and what i could have become. Thank you for just accepting me. It is a rare and wonderful gift for such people to come into our lives and you are very much that gift.

Mrs. G, you never threw me out of your house and this I cannot believe. I've started debates, asked stupid questions, talked way too much, slaughtered morale, made people cry, and not done homework more times that i can even count, and you still let me in every week. You helped me to understand seemingly infantile concepts and understood that i was still very infantile in my ways. I am defanantly not one of those believers who's ready for solid food, so thanks for mashing it all up for me.

Aundra, for whatever reason, you took interest in my life, and cared about my well being. I don't understand it, and i won't try. Thanks for going all sorts of out of your way to take me to bible study and cause all that trouble.

Rob, thank you for loving my friends unconditionally. Yes, even Randy... I know you picked favorites, but thanks for atleast treating me nice. Thanks for doing all those extra lessons for us and giving us free therapy. Thank you for giving up your sanity for two months to teach us crazy heads a little bit more about a really cool God.


For now, I'm taking a break. I'll finish tomorrow after i wright my research paper. I'm sleepy, but totally not finished with this yet.

We are a beautiful letdown, painfully uncool
the church of the dropouts, the losers, the sinners, the failures
and the fools
Oh what a beautiful letdown
are we salt in the wound?
Oh, let us sing one true tune


thats a good song. I just realized that my best friend since I could walk turned 23 this march. I feel so young, and simultenaeously old at the same time. I have a hard time believing that he's actually 23. I remember when I was 8 and used to go to his house and sit with his baby sister on the swings. She must be about... I'm going to shoot for 14 right now. Wow, Julia is in her teens. I remember when we went to Bush Gardens and spent the day together. Danny (my friend) made so much fun of me for hanging out with his baby sister... We had some really good times together back then. Playing power rangers and lions den and the lava game. I used to have the biggest crush on him. Man, I haven't seen him since I was maybe... 11 or 12. Long time. I miss him. We used to be so close, despite the enormous age difference and the fact that we saw eachother once every five years at best. I wrote him a letter a while back. I still get teary when I read it. I remember I told him about all this crap that was going on and told him that no matter what he'd always been my main man, and he wrote me back and told me that I'd always be his main girl and that he had so many stories to tell me when I came to visit him. My freshman year, his step dad called us up and I talked to Danny long distance for like two hours. His step dad always kind of scared me. I haven't heard anything about him since he left for overseas. I don't even know if he's alive and I have no way to find out. So many good memories... I still can't believe it. He's 23 years old. He's old enough to be starting a family, and here I am finishing high school.

I met the college girls today for bible study. I will never get accustomed to that. I feel even more lost and secluded than ever. Thats not to say I didn't have a good time, but i'm literally by myself. Everyones got a best friend in there, and I'm just like "yeah, I know some girls..." Junior year all over again. For quite some time there me and the heathers were getting on pretty good talking terms. I told heather dee stuff that most of those girls wouldn't figure out till Brent did his senior shpeal. I'm a senior... I'm not ready to be studying the bible with people who are married and engaged and stuff... I feel so young. Its weird to me.

Having a party tomorrow... Totally unplanned. Expecting somewhere between two and twenty people... Its gonna be chaos... Yeah, I'm sleepy. I'ma sleep now.

ta

The end of the year closes in on me faster than I want it to. Yay. I was in the strangest mood of my life last night. After the utter chaos involved with getting to the JCL banquet, I went to bible study. (I won’t get into the mess just yet. It was funny though) For the entire first part of the night I was overwhelmed by this sense of… peace. I was actually really happy. Not just on the outside, I felt okay too. It was a strange feeling, but a nice one. Unfortunately, It didn’t last. I became overwhelmed with sadness toward the end. I think I was angry with myself for not being so upset to begin with. I don’t know. The day is coming too close. Every day that passes is another day that I wish would not. I’m still left with a sense of… I don’t know what happened that day, and it drives me crazy. I want the images out of my head. I want some peace of mind. I don’t know what I want. After my bout of sadness, I found it impossible to feel at all. At some point I realized that I wasn’t feeling anything. I tried to shake it off before the lights went back on. I suppose I managed.

Last night I was listening to the new bible study compilation cd. The last one I will ever receive. Last night was my last bible study with those girls ever and would you believe what I had to go through for a picture? It made me feel rather invisible, which is not the feeling I wanted to be left with. My lasting memory.

When I got home last night, I lie down and I was listening to the new cd and the first song was a live track of the Lifehouse song everything. I’d forgotten how beautiful that song was. About half way through the song I snapped and started crying uncontrollably, if you could call it crying. I was sobbing so hard that I couldn’t breath, but I couldn’t get the tears to fall. I’d forgotten that feeling. I never did like it. The feeling of crying like a baby and it gets you absolutely nowhere. When I was done, I went back to feeling nothing and then became extraordinarily tired. It was so hot in my room… really uncomfortable, but I couldn’t will myself to move at all.

This morning, for the seventh morning in a row, I woke up somewhere between 3 and 5 a.m. for no reason, in a panic because I had no idea where I was. The feeling only lasts for a split second, but it feels like eons.

One way or the other, I feel okay right now. I have to pull another speech out of a random orifice next period, which I think is pretty exciting… I’m going to go now.

Until we meet again * Bows politely *

I am unbelievably bored. Just sitting here in psychology and you'd think i could find something to do, but heavens no... Getting info on Warped Tour b/c I don't feel like doing research. I'm writing a paper on hypochondria. Thats a bad idea. I'm tired of writing now. bye

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
these are the best days of our lives
the only thing that matters is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right

In the midst of my psychosis, i forgot to mention that i'm now 18. That was my moms mothers day present. Legal freedom from all of my stupidity. I don't feel any different. I'm now legally old enough to move out, smoke, vote, and buy porn. None of which i will be doing any time soon. Except maybe voting, which i'm vaguely considering. There is a level of change that comes with being 18. I don't feel it. I enjoyed my birthday, don't get me wrong. I got to go to work and spend time with some of my favorite people in the world. I got to go to youth group and spend time with some of my favorite people in the world, and then i got to go to wendys and spend time with some of my favorite people in the world. I got to spend time with my mom, who has lived through another cursed year of mommyhood and i commend her for managing to live through raising me.

i still feel like I did at 15 and 16 and 17.... but not 14... Yeah, nothings changes. Now I can say i'm legally old enough to do just about everything and they still won't let me into the movie theater b/c I look 12. Congratulations to me. I'll make it a good year or something.

Why couldn’t you have given that speech last year.

My first impulse was to be insulted. My second was to laugh so that I wouldn’t cry. I did both of these.

I did my speech today, about not killing yourself. I was nervous, mostly b/c of the fear of failing. I would have been more calm if my future werent’ on the line. Stupid future. I told a story about a girl I once knew, a beautiful girl with a contagious smile and a wonderful future ahead of her and a compassionate spirit… I didn’t use any names. A girl I know asked me if the story was true, and I said yes. After explaining that the one year “anniversary” of her death is closing in, she made this comment to me. I know she meant for it to be matter of factual but I didn’t take it that way. I was hurt because she was right. I’ve kept myself awake at night sometimes wondering what I could have done. I should have been more involved in her life or I should have called that night. I shouldn’t have been worrying about my stupid lack of guy problems, worrying about some situation that I made myself physically ill over, something that wasn’t even that big a deal. I should have gotten to know her better. I should have seen it coming, I should have known the future. There are millions of things that I’ve convinced myself that I should have done, things that I couldn’t do.

It wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t save her no matter how much I may have wanted to. I couldn’t have known what was happening in her head, seeing her twice a week. She didn’t die because I was living my life. She didn’t die because I’m not a psychic. But when people say things like that to me, it really does feel like I have to blame myself all over again.

I knew there would be pain involved if I told this story, but it’s the only way that I could make that speech real. I didn’t want to risk making it fake. Not for the sake of the grade, but for the people listening to me. I can’t know what’s happening in their minds just like I couldn’t read hers. I can’t save them just like I couldn’t save her, but I can try.

Sometimes, I still see the images in my mind. I don’t know what happened so I can only guess, and those images haunt me. Like the images in your worst nightmares and I can’t make them go away. I don’t want to forget, but at times when it seems like my fault all over again, it almost hurts too much to remember. Why do I? Because I love that girl, even if I didn’t know her as well as maybe people who saw her everyday. I loved her the first time she ever came to Wednesday night bible study and talked me into coming out of my corner on the floor and sitting on the couch. I loved her when she told me the stories about boyfriends and flowermound and the origin of the quotes on her purse and showed me pictures of people I would never know. I loved her on the one year anniversary of 9/11 when we all watched the September 11th tv special and she had red, white and blue paper clips in her ears and she broke into tears at some of those stories. I loved her when she told me about her grandfather and her family and the things she was struggling with. I loved her when she chopped off all her hair, and I loved her the night she pulled me up to the stairs with her and told me she was scared and needed someone to be with her when she got baptized, and I loved her while she glowed up there and I screamed and yelled and choked back tears. I loved her when I picked up the phone and heard the news and I still love her now.

Maybe I should have done something more, but I’m sorry that I couldn’t. But please don’t think that I didn’t want to. Don’t think it doesn’t tear me apart inside at the thought that I didn’t give her what she needed, whatever that was. I don’t think I could have.

There is something painfully and irreperably wrong with my subconcious...

Ever had one of those dreams that seems to make no sense? I have them every night. Last nights was... yeah.

It all started out that Ev and I were hanging out. All I remember about that was that it was late at night and we kept randomly switching where we were. Like one minute we were in a room, then on a ferris wheel, then in a room on a ferriswheel. You get the point. Well, at one point, we... switched genders, I guess you could say. Suddenly he was a chick and I was a man, and i might not have let it bother me a whole lot if at that exact moment everyone in the dream was suddenly a character from the Munsters. The dream changed to black and white and I was Herman and he was Lilly. Then out of the clear blue sky, I really had to pee. When I went I was me, only... well, I had a few extra parts. If you've ever seen Hot Chick, you'll understand how much trouble I was having. It took me like an hour to use the bathroom because I washed my hands, used the bathroom, washed them again, tried to clean up my god aweful mess, washed my hands.... I think i washed my hands about 15 times and Ev got really irritated that it took me so long.

Then i'm on the ferriswheel again, only I'm me once more, and i'm riding it with.... I don't even think it was human. At any rate, we kept trying to get off the ferris wheel, but we couldn't b/c it never stopped and you got absolutely filthy if you tried to get off... Well, we risked it and got all filthy, and this creature thing took me to basically a rock in the middle of the ocean to show me ocean wildlife. We dove in to the water and we both could breath. First he showed me what looked like a box with a bunch of fish that looked like glowing messed up mudskippers. They were all attached to eachother (maybe 10 of them) and they had these long skinny tongues that they would trap you with and shock you. Then he showed me a shark that could talk and show facial expressions but had no teeth. Then he showed me a whale with rows and rows of sharks teeth. The whale tried to eat me.

Then I was at Ericas house, or what I thought was Ericas house since it was basically a box decorated like Ericas living room. I was lying on the couch and a very large man sat on my legs and was lying on me. I kept asking for help but people just gave me sad looks and watched a movie of some sort. So, I pushed him off and felt really bad about it and then I woke up all dazed and confused.



I think theres something wrong with me.


ONTO OTHER THINGS

We all had the Friday thing at Ericas house yesterday. Its greatness, well over a year and it still holds the name Friday thing. It was really fun. We just basically watched movies and I tried to make sure Evness didn't die on me. He's not feeling to well. I think its getting a little worse actually. As I've said, we're all sick. Something bad is going around. A guy I sit with at lunch, Ryan ,he's been violently ill since last Saturday. Don't think he's eaten since then, which is shocking b/c he's a bottomless pit. I mean that in the best possible way...

Yes, Ericas house is fun. I like going there. I always see new movies, and enjoy old ones better.

And now I'm home.... by myself. which is nice, I need more alone time. But i should do my speech stuff before Bender pulls my brain out through my eye sockets. She's a little peeved with me for being a compulsive procrastonator.

I go now.

What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth

I just can't get enough blog it seems... I'm unbelievably bored right now. Just counting the seconds, watching myself waste hours of my own life doing nothing. I've been so busy these past couple of weeks that a break seems strange. I don't know what to do with myself now that i have so much extra time. At any rate, someone said something to me in lunch that, for whatever reason, took me aback. We were chatting about the crazy number of mutual friends we've all recently had busted for drugs, and those who, thus far, have not been. To say the least I was shocked, and a little dissapointed at what I learned. My friend Matt commented about how well I handle people and drugs *ahem, cough, cough* I've had a history of being a little hasty with these things. Okay, okay downright insane. An incedent from last spring break is what actually got me doing a personal journal again, after years. At any rate, Matt tells me that one day during my first few weeks at school here asking some questions about me. Something along the lines of "Hey, whats with that new friend of yours? She's like a Jesus freak." I was shocked, but by no means appalled. I've never been reffered to as a Jesus freak before, so I honestly dind't know how to respond to this comment. I've never considered myself to be the greatest of believers, and I surely expected that others would see that, which apparently they do. But in the midst of all my lunacy and mistakes, people, friends, seemed to recognize something I always thought I had conveyed poorly. To quote something that Heather might say, I heart Jesus. Though I'm sure at the time I was meant to be offended, I'm really rather flattered. And while on one end the thought is terrifying and a little nervewracking b/c it means that people are watching and I am very much responsible for my actions (I have to watch my mentally unstable self) at the same time it means i must be doing something right. Even if i'm doing everything else wrong, I haven't messed up in that the world around me can see, if only a little, that I am in fact a Jesus freak.



Onto other news.


FOr english, I have to write an essay.,.,.,. about myself. *horror music* I hate writing about myself. Its about how I've changed since my freshman year. Everyone else tried the excuse of my hair is longer and i grew two inches, but I can't use that. My hair is almost exactly the same length as it was before I hacked it all off the first time, and pretty much the same length as it was by the end of the year, and I haven't grown two inches. If I have, I've shrunken it all off again, thus making me the same as I was four years ago. I have changed nada physically in 4 years, except that I probably weigh more now. Anyway, I have to talk about how I've changed with some semblance of depth. I have no depth. Okay thats not true, I just hate writing about myself. So if you could write this for me.... Okay i'm kidding, but I could use some help. Those of you who know me or kind of know me or even who have known who I am for more than like a month... If you could maybe help me spark my memory a little bit by clueing me in on what kind of changes you've seen in me in the time you've known me, that would be really really helpful. If you can spark my memory some, I'm sure I can go back to freshman year from there.

I'm also constructing a powerpoint about myself... It makes me feel so superficial.

As long as i'm talking about school projects.... In psychology I have a research paper coming up on hypochondria. (not a single book in our school library might I add. An entire book on agoraphobia, but not even a paragraph on hypochondria....) and in speech I'm giving, well, a speech on Monday on why its not a good idea to kill yourself. Nobody seems surprised that I chose such a topic... Yep, I'm tired of school. But I know I'll miss it like crazy when I'm gone. I got my short story in the literary magazine this year. They used a chunk of it for advertising. Something like "Look what you're missing out on" and then a passage from my story that makes me sound extremely demented... Oh, wait.... I found it funny. If I see enough of them lying around I might just borrow one as a keepsake.

Evness feels all not good... Come to think of it, we're all getting sick. Randy was sick, I've been feeling a little on the pooey side, Matts sick. I hope I didn't make anyone ill... I hope he feels better. I hate to see ev feeling bad.

In lunch, I tasted the equivelant of dried out squid babies... I forget what exactly it was called, but they were dried out tiny little squid looking things, an inch long if they were lucky. It wasn't really good, persey, but it wasn't hideously sickening either. I've heard it tastes just like sushi.

Ima free you of my ramblings now, for the sake of the city, and because i'm running out of meaningful things to mention. Until we meet again.

*bows politely*

I may have quite possibly just recieved the single most random and sweetest e mail of my life. And i have been rendered entirely speechless... Isn't it amazing what nine words can do? I'm going to have to say yes.

Uselessness, its
Uselessness, its
Uselessness, its
Uselessness...
~Static X

It only seemed fair of me to inform you that i'm not dead, even though most of you already know that. so, I'm not dead. Phones working again, much to my dispair. Sure, i love being able to waste my life of the interweb and all, but already the sound of ringing phones makes me twitch and convulse in unpleasant agony...

Sorry if i seemed to be in a crappy mood toward the end of friday night by the way, I just felt really attacked and i didn't much care for the feeling. I'm fine now. oh, according to The Death Clock, I've only got about 40 years to live. Isn't that lovely? I don't believe it for a minute of course. I'm bored, and should probably clean something.

I saw most of Remember the Titans, and now I am itching to see the ending. I also watched Kill Bill finally, it was shockingly gory and the bloody death type effects could have been better but all in all, i was satisfied enough to want to see the sequal.

I have nothing of value to say, and i want to go develop my prom pictures so that I can stare at them and .... see ... them.... yeah... I've got to go now.