*gasp*

I totally forgot to introduce you to my zombie nightmare theme song.

A perfect Circle - Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rythem of the War Drums

Don't fret precious, I'm here.
Step away from the window, go back to sleep.
Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils.
See, the don't give a fuck about you like I do.
Count the bodies like sheep.
Counting bodies like sheep to the rythem of the war drums.

I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons,
I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason.
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son.
They're one in the same.
I must isolate you.
Isolate and save you from yourself.
Sleep.
Sleep.
Sleep.


The music is very "you're screwed" in a way.

P.S. My beloved Cherry Coke exploded all over me.

I cry.

Note to Blog: Fix your freaking site already...

Its been an interesting day.

I'd like to insert a picture here, but I can't b/c blog says no, as usual. The picture was to be of the Backstreet Boys performing at thier concert this past weekend. Why might I insert such a picture here to ye many who don't care? Simlpe, my best friend and many other missed companions saw their show this past weekend, likely in Phili or Hershey and the pictures left on my dear friend Elliots xanga made me smile with little girly happiness. Thats right, I miss it, and I don't care what you think.

Walking partially home today I discovered that the sound you hear when you blow on the openings of coke bottles and such makes me smile.

I love Everett a freaking lot.

Every so often, I have what I choose to refer to as a Hollywood Nightmare. Thats where you wake up one day and the ultimate nightmare from a scary movie comes true. My Hollywood Nightmare is zombies. Not all the time, but sometimes, I'll wake up in the morning, usually one to two hours early and be convinced that zombies are taking over outside. Not those silly blue faced, uber slow zombies either. I"m talking blood and guts, outruns your car to get you, freaking foaming at the mouth and ripping you to peices zombies. I woke up at 5 this morning, and all I could think was that if I moved, the zombies would know I was there, and that when Pumpkin wouldn't stop barking, she was luring the zombies to me. Then it got progressively worse when I feared that walking up the stairs would awaken everett from his zombie slumber and he would burst through the door and attack me and start tearing me to peices and I just wouldn't have it in me to bash him over the head, what with loving him and all. I was paranoid in the shower, trying to plot my escape and realizing that I was quite doomed no matter what plan of action I took. Driving to work, there was a shocking lack of traffic, and immediately i thought, zombies... they ate corporate America. I was even trying to plot my ultimate escape at Kroger, thinking to myself that I could not die in a grocery store.

To say the least, zombies have yet to take over the world. Though they obviously have dibs on my overactive imagination.

So, as you can tell, its been a long day, and I am really tired.

I"m still mostly deaf from the ear infection, and beginning to wonder if I'll ever gain my lost sense back. It really makes you appreciate being able to hear, you know... well, with the exception of peoples freaking kids who won't shut up that you can hear from the other side of the store because they didn't get more sugar they don't need... But nevertheless.

I go.

May you sleep peacefully and zombies not rip you to shreds as you limp helplessly away from them.

Blog is being all stupidheaded today.

Well, Happy Easter and all. I spent a good portion of mine in bed. I've been sick sick sick for a month, but the last week ish is blamed on a bacterial inner ear infection that won't go away, so I stayed home from work b/c I keep getting all dizzy like, forgetting that I have nothing better to do with my time.

Spent another $120 for doctor visits b/c my insurance company is stupid and has yet to send me my information. So i spent my time on Friday sitting in the doctors office crying like a baby b/c everything went wrong.

I had my heart broken last week, but I'm sure anyone who cares already knows, and still probably doesn't care. I am stupid. But enough of that. I'll break my own heart if I get started.

I finished the song I was writing, but anyone I've tried to play it for has no interest in hearing such rubbish. And frankly, I can't blame them.

Midevil fair next week, and If i'm still sick, i'll blow stuff up.

I'm on the lookout for a new immune system, as I fired mine, and It has to be willing to work hard, long hours, with little benifit, much like I do. So, If you hear anything, let me know.

100 THINGS I'D LIKE TO DO BEFORE I DIE...
( ) complete a list of things to do before I die
( ) sky dive
( ) swim with sharks
( ) have twins
(x) have a song or poem written about me
(x) have a song dedicated to me on the radio
(x) own silver boots
(x) Meet a retired member of a mafia
( ) have my own apartment
(x) pet a cow
(x) be published in a literary magazine
(x) be published in a book
( ) be published in a book that isn't hosted by an online competition
( ) learn conversational Latin
( ) do something that nobody else has ever done
(x) perform on stage other than in school
(x) play a song i wrote live on the radio
( ) have a secret admirer
( ) get married at an outdoor wedding on a day when its pouring down rain
( ) be a daddys girl
( ) have a strong attachment to an inanimate object
(x) learn to change a diaper
( ) grow my hair three feet or longer
( ) work somewhere that doesn't require a dress code
( ) shave my head, and love it
(x) have fingernails that can be used as weapons
(x) make an article of clothing from scratch
(x) get stuck in a hail storm
( ) see a tornado in person
( ) learn to step dance
( ) ice skate
( ) ask somebody on a date
(x) try on a corset
(x) own a garter belt
( ) start a cult of short people who want to take over the world
(x) kiss underwater
( ) go camping
(x) catch fireflys
(x) crowdsurf at an outdoor concert
( ) win money on a lotto ticket bought as a joke
( ) be an extra in a zombie film
( ) visit a country overseas
( ) have the oppurtunity to tell a prominent figure in society that they were wrong
( ) not have a reason to do above action
( ) dye my hair purple
( ) meet Weird Al
(x) snowboard without dying
( ) write a great american novel
(x) hug a stranger
( ) learn the hardest chord ever on a guitar
( ) play a beautiful song on a piano
( ) covor every visible inch of my bedroom walls with things that I love
(x) be related to someone famous
( ) have a conversation with Pauly Shore
( ) See a Broadway performance
( ) see a persons aura
( ) learn to sew a straight line
( ) climb to the top of a volcano
( ) find the bottom of an endless abyss
(x) learn to french braid my own hair
( ) walk around in 8 inch ballirina heels
( ) fly
(x) pet a dangerous animal - like a jaguar or an alligator
( ) learn to belly dance
( ) scream back at a Banshee
( ) get my nose peirced
( ) move things with my mind
( ) see what God looks like
(x) make a little kid smile
( ) threaten my little brothers first girlfriend
( ) see my sister get married
( ) win a burping contest
( ) learn to speak Hawiian
( ) learn to play the bagpipes
( ) work in a library
( ) work in a record store
( ) do something naughty in a public place without getting cought
(x) take a pretty picture
( ) be in a music video
( ) do something for myself without caring how it might affect some random person I've never even met
( ) be a male for one day
( ) change the world
( ) marry an artist or musician
( ) do something shocking
( ) discover something scientifically completely new and name it after what I was thinking about at the time I discovered it
( ) have a garden of cactus and aloe vera (because its all I can keep alive)
( ) cook something edible
( ) admit openly that I'm not as bad as I say I am
(x) own an article of clothing that is more than 35 years old
( ) take my moms cracker jack box ring on antique roadshow
( ) be a creepy old cat lady
( ) learn to use foundation
( ) learn to sword fight in such a way as could save my life if I were ever attacked by ninjas
( ) tour Graceland
( ) own a full collection of Christina Ricci films
( ) visit the grave of a famous dead person who impacted my life significanly
( ) flawlessly sing the lyrics to "Its the end of the world as we know it"( ) figure out what ever happened to my kidnapped Berto choker( ) live to see the day when buying something in Euros saves money again
( )


Last space intentionally left blank. I hate finishing things that lay out what I want to do with my life when I'm so young and stupid.

Important things to know about me...


If I could write beautiful words, I would waste them on less beautiful phrases

I fired my immune system yesterday

I set the keyboard in the underwear drawer when I type on this computer

The first older kid I ever knew was a sixteen year old pedophile.

I didn't like him.

I hate artificial peach flavoring

If I had a deep dark secret, I would probably tell it to you

I am a female but I'm not sure why

I've never done anything original in my life

I willingly went to see the Lizzy Mcguire Movie

I dispise changes

Yesterday I finally started making a list of things to do before I die

I think they should put the feeding tube back in.

I sing loudly when nobody is home

I don't sing loudly in the shower

I frequently ask for peoples attention by pushing them away

I don't pray for myself anymore

I've been to two weddings and one funural, but never a bat mitzvah

I also don't know how to spell said event

cheap wine burns my mouth like fiery owchness

I sometimes compliment myself in secret

I am afraid to sneeze publicly

I went through a two year period where I wouldn't even kill bugs

Many free spiders and queen ants showed me thier everlasting affection by biting the crap out of me in my sleep

I have slept on the floor of a home riddled with cocroaches

I fear cocroaches

I feel ready for sleeping again.

Work proceeds to induce madness in my otherwise calm demeaner.

I am freezing today, and I don't know why. I think I"m getting sick... AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

I'm firing my immune system. It won't do its job right. Tomorrow will suck muchly. Too much work to do before sunrise.

I"m still freezing. Perhaps I'll take a hot shower and sleep away my afternoon, since I"m useless.

Forgive me, I don't have anything to say.

But someday, oh, someday...

*strikes dramatic pose*

Bloggage.

This is a blog, and I am blogging.

I love to blog.

Blog is good blog is great, lets all run to buy a gate.

Blog often, blog safe.

Blog Happy.

This has got to be the worst day of my life.

I got an e mail today.

SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF YOU

Aerosmith - I dont want to miss a thing
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watching you smile while you are sleeping, while your far away, dreaming, I could spend my life in this sweet surrender, I could stay lost in this moment forever, where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Whitney Houston - I wanna dance with somebody
Clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to fade, still enough to figure out how to chase my blues away, ive done alright up till now, but its the light of day that shows me how, and when the night falls my lonely heart calls, oh I wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heat with somebody, yeah I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me

Green Day- Boulevard of Broken Dreams (THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE)
I walk a lonely road, the only one that I ever known, dont know where it goes, but its only me and I walk alone, i walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams, where the city sleeps, and im the only one and I walk alone, I walk alone, I walk alone, my shadows the only one that walks besides me, my shallow hearts the only thing thats beating, sometimes I wish someone would damn well find, till then I walk alone

Dionne Warwick- Thats what friends are for
Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Mary Tyler Moore Theme Song
She could turn the world on with her smile, make a nothing date suddenly make it all seem worth while well its you girl and you should know it, each and every step, glance, little moment you show it, love is all around no need to waste it, love is all around, why dont you take it, your gonna me it after all

What am I...

"I'm alright, I"m alright
It only hurst when I breathe"

I use that quote a lot...

anyway, breathing doesn't actually hurt today, but my inability to participate in this nicecity of life is a bit unnerving. I have accumulated some sort of respiratory issue.

"Well, Shaye, why don't you just go to the doctor?"

Yeah, and pay 200 dollars to be told that nothing is wrong with me? My account is already short too much from the last pointless visit, plus my lack of insurance leaves me putting yet another likely necessary doctor visit off. I've also picked up a tiny cough and i'm losing my voice.

How many more incurable illnesses can I catch this week?

I cleaned the bathroom today like a mofo and now I feel dirty and used.

Or just dirty.

I will now shower.

*gets naked and runs off into the sunset... er ... shower ... screaming the lyrics to zippidydoda*

Sleep, it seems, is no longer a leisurly past time for me, but a mandatory act of wasting time.

I used to so love sleeping.

Now, i just wish I could stop.

And find something else worth filling the empty moments.

Hey Eric, check it out...


Silva est magna.

Amo latinam.

Meam vitam odi.

Semel occidit brevis lux nox est perpetuuna dormienda.

Ericus est puella...

er um...

Ama strutheocamelum.

Da mi basia mille...

Actually, I was just kidding on that last one.

Pacem.

(How good is my latin? Do I still remember what I"m doing)

Its not exactly conversational, but they're all dead anyway.

its back, and this time, its personal...

Or atleast in my case, viral. So they say. Remember that talk about my beautiful viral infection I blessed the first week of this blog with? Well, I thought I had it again, on account of all the white crap growing in the back of my throat, but apparently, its viral, and theres nothing I can do about it.

Aint that something? I still think It could be cured. Perhaps I won't be sick as a dog this time, but only time shall tell, aka, my five a.m. shift tomorrow. You should have seen me trying to explain how I might not be at work tomorrow, because I might be sick...

I am tired. I will now shower, and nap, and then eat, and nap some more.

Vale.