"Thats life. and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but its sorta all we have"

"I'm not saying I don't cry, but in between, I laugh"

"I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you"

I'm tired of being a crazy bitch. I miss the person I was before, when everyone liked me and I was nice. I'm going to be that person again. I miss her. I think I could be that again, with a little bit of time. Be patient with me. I'll learn how to love everything again.

I don't hate myself anymore. It just really kicked in on me today. I've been going on and on about how awesome I am, but I never knew why I was saying any of it. To comfort myself perhaps, but I just realized it not an hour ago. I don't hate myself. I looked in the mirror and it was a shock to me to find somebody staring back. I had a reflection. Something lovely has manifested in me this past year and a half. And even though it ended and even though it still hurts like hell, you changed something inside of me. I don't know if you made me alive or if you made me realize that I am alive, but something huge has changed in me and I'm feeling things I've never felt before.

Its strange not to hate myself. Its an unusual sensation not to feel numb about yourself. I've done a lot of stuff in my life that I shouldn't have, I've given a lot of myself that I wonder if I can live without, but somehow, for the first time in recorded human history, I don't hate myself.

I've also determined that I don't like pretty boys. I can't see the beauty in pretty boys. In pretty people. Thats not to say I don't see beautiful things, but I see them in unconvention, unorthodox ways. I know beautiful people, but you don't think they are beautiful.

I'm a go downstairs now and do something... though I"m not sure what.




Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing a tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like

So, let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives
And then advances with the form
So, honey, back for more
Can't you see that all the stuff's essential?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can wait
You roll your eyes
We've twenty seconds to comply

So, let goJump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's al right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown