"If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing,
wouldn't that be something?
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about just one thing
wouldn't that be something?
Even though I know
I don't wanna know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds..."


I'm tired. I'm plain sick and tired of leaving the house, getting out, becoming interactive with the world, only to remember that I don't feel like it. I'm tired of being afraid of myself for no reason, for playing "Pity me" games with everyone I see, just because I don't feel good. I'm ready to jump and run and dance and shout to the whole world that life is good. I'm ready to accept those unavoidable complements and be satisfied being with myself for periods of time. I'm ready to get over my frustrations. I'm ready to feel alive outside my shell, living beyond the borders of my unabashedly finite comfort zone. I'm ready to be myself again. Unfortunately, I'm still too content being angry. I'm still so sporadically unhappy, and I'll be damned if I don't like it that way... It sounds unusual for me I realize, but...


... I'm just ready to be normal again.