Yes, as has been the case all week, I'm going to complain. If you don't like it, I won't be surprized at all. Its even beginning to bother me.

Okay, just because I love you guys... I'll start with something happy and end the same, but all the middle stuff is me doing more of that losing sanity thing.

Happy part....

Every week at work it seems I learn something. This week I have concluded two things. One, all babies absorb the smell of what they had for breakfast. I couldn't tell if one kid had eaten cherrios or that french toast cereal... Also, (yeah, this is the mom in me) I don't think there are many feelings much greater than seeing a child express thier trust, or at the very least, tolerance, for you. There is this one little guy that I think everyone loves because, lets face it, he's freaking adorable, but for whatever reason, he has singled me out as a, I don't want to say "favorite" per se, so you make something up. Whenever he gets bored with whatever he is doing, he always comes running to me with this huge smile on his face. It really makes me feel like I've at least done a little bit for this kid. The father of a girl that I used to have in my Tuesday class also knew me by name through his daughter (the one who was in my class) Then I went to give Tzsirhart (okay, I know thats spelled wrong. Give me a break please) a handshake, and I recieved a hug in return. Okay, it was a big deal to me. So I spent the morning feeling really loved. Then things took a turn for the worst.

By the time I was in youth group... thing... my mood had taken a turn for the worst to say the least. I learned that if you try to make a witty coment, and two people out of roughly 30 hear you, you just look like an ass. I don't know why, but I take it so personally when people don't hear me. Maybe its because it seems to happen to me all the damn time. Then I have to repeat myself four times before anyone aknowledges my presence and they yell at me about how they heard it already. Well I'm not a psychic. How am I supposed to know that you heard me if you don't aknowledge that I am even breathing? That part didn't happen today, I'm just ranting. Then there were these banging sounds in the next room that were seriously getting to me. I knew it was just the gradeschool kids playing in the next room but everytime I heard a bang I would get more and more distracted from the lesson and the louder it got the more I had to fight to hold back tears. This is not the first time this has happened.
Then we all went to starbucks and ran into friends and old friends and people I've never met before and other such joys. I was just getting a really hard time from everyone and it bothered me b/c theres not exactly a whole lot i can do about it, except maybe stop getting so upset about it... I shouldn't let it bother me, and I know nobody means for me to take it personally, but again... Its not anything new, and I need to stop being such a little girl and just deal with it.

Night ended well to say the least, mostly because Everett is amazing and I don't deserve him. He is way better to me than I deserve.

Love to ramble on forever, and I'm sure I could, but I think I have to get up early tomorrow. I might finally get that i.d. I've been needing for over a year. And i'm tired, and its hot in this room. Bye