I've hardly figured it all out yet and its already started again... I can't hold it in anymore. I'm going to start so many problems.

So here goes.



I know you're reading this. Don't even try to deny that you can. I know you've got that stupid tracker, watching every single move we make on here as if we're nothing more than property, peices of junk you can mistreat as you choose. I am not your material possession and neither is anyone else. She is not in the wrong for wanting a life. You aren't in the wrong for wanting to talk to her, BUT YOU DO NOT OWN HER!!!!! People need some freedom, and people need friends. What she does IS NOT MY FAULT, I can't control other people so stop getting angry with me and yelling at me and fucking hanging up on me when you don't get your way. So go on about how noone cares about you and noone wants you around and how noone loves you. You couldn't be more wrong. All i've ever wanted for as long as I can remember is to be a daddys girl. All I've ever wanted is the love and acceptance of my father, to be good enough for you. I've tried so hard it almost killed me, but it was always my fault to you, and I can't figure out how to try anymore. I can't go to San Antonio because I can't take it anymore. I can't handle the blame and the constant rejection. I know you try but you need help. I love you but I'm breaking down inside listening to the yelling and the swearing and hearing things break all the time. I can't handle all the hatred anymore. Its worn me down to nothing. I'm sorry that I can't fix all the problems, and I'm sorry I cause so many more and I'm sorry I don't have all the answers. I'm sorry that we can't be whatever it is that you want us to be.