This is not my life
This is not my home
This is not me
I hate this

Your voice in my mind
Come home it ain't time
Burned down
Not me you see me suffer
Solace to inspire
Lowness to my life
Taunted by yourself alive

I don't understand... Sometimes I just wish I knew what I did so wrong... I've been awake for less than a half hour and I already want to find a hole to bury myself in. The perpetuity of it all is starting to make me sick. I can't control my mind anymore. I'm going to lose it if I don't find solace in something here. Sure, there are things in the world that keep me sane, but none of them are here, in this house, in this place that I can't escape from. If being a teenager is a mental illness in itself, I want to be locked away until this "phase" passes by me. I'm tired. I want to be cured, fixed. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am a little broken. Or maybe its not me that needs fixing. Maybe its my reality thats shattered off to hell. I'm sick of hell. Tired with it. I used to fear it when I was little, but now I'm just irritated. I know God doesn't make mistakes, and predestinations sounds to me like a big joke that people use to explain the unexplainable, and i guess I wish... that something would change for once. I'm tired of having to change to make this fucked up reality satisfied. I want them to change this time. I've rearranged myself so many times now that I can't even remember who I used to be. I'm not doing it again. If they want to be happy with me, then for once, they can change. I'm not doing anything this time. And if they won't change, then I can't stay here anymore. Its that simple. Or is it?