Todays oh so thought provoking lunch time conversation: bathroom humor. And i must say it was some of the funniest stuff i have ever heard when it comes to the human body and how it ... dispels... the bad stuff. We are disturbed young men and women. Or maybe its just me...

ANYWAY

Me and my maternal instinct. I have far more of it than i like to accept, but far too much to want to let go of. I have realized as much this week. It all started when one of the toddlers threw up all over the toddler room. So everyone is running around trying to clean up the floor, and I in all of my motherly instinct, scoop up this whimpering 13 month old child covored in that mornings florescent colored yogurt into my arms and try to comfort him and talk to him even though he can't speak a word yet (though he can make this happy little mumble for yes and a rather painfully sad sound for no... or also to mean a very uncomfortable yes..... dear lord, i can speak toddler....) A girl i work with walked up to me and told me "You are brave." I didn't understand how i was being brave, it seemed only natural to me. I realized when she began inching away from the kids miserable expression what she meant. I suppose not too many people are willing to carry around a vomiting toddler. This is not the first time i have held a child who has just puked up thier breakfast or clearly has a nasal infection and is blowing rather impressive snot bubbles or has not yet controlled thier ability to drool... If that makes me maternal, so be it. I love my job.

Tuesday I realized just how painful it is to have to let go of children you have grown to love. I don't care if those grade schoolers weren't my own. I love them just the same and it was heartwrenching to let them go. Those kids have more strength than anyone i've ever met. We should be looking up to them, not the other way around.

And finally last night. Ev came to visit me, seeing as how he wasn't getting out of it considering he's gone till Saturday. Yep, i'm demanding... Well we were lying there and he was curled up in my arms and I was holding him. That is by far how I am most comfortable. When i feel like i am protecting someone else. I love that feeling and i don't know why. Its not a dominance issue. Believe me. I dominate nothing. Its a protection issue. I don't much care to be looked after (thought sometimes its nice)

yeah, i'm a mom. Its no wonder the guys all call me mom... Though i don't know if i want kids yet. I'll think about it in 15 years, when it is said i will have them.

Onto more exciting things. I found out today that I can go to state for JCL. there was no way i could afford it on my own. No way. But i learned that since i placed second in my competition, JCL is fully paying for my whole trip. The bus, the hotel, food. All of that stuff. Which is really really really good and i'm quite excited about such. Who'da thought? Yeah, i said who'da. I'm really happy about this...It seems like a small thing, but keep in mind how much I like Latin and wanted to go on this trip. I'm excited. Joyousness of times, something good. which can only mean untimely disaster, but i'll cross that road when i get to it. I'm happy.

Thats enough out of me. Class ends soon, i go now.