SAVE THIS POST, BLOG HO!!!!

Today, I hate everything, and the funny thing is, i'm not sure why.

I want to blow things up, but I dont know which things, I am angry, but I'm not sure at what, and everything is going wrong, even the stuff that went alright.

My eyes hurt due to exaustion and not being able to take that much needed nap because noone will come see me when I'm lonely, and noone will leave me alone when I'm crowded.

I'm crowded by my own lunacy, and I have a headache.

Get out of my head, feelings

Maybe I really do just need some sleep, and everything will be all better in the morning.

Or maybe, thats just what you all want me to think, and I will hate everything for ever.

Over-dramatically yours.

"I am bigger than my body gives me credit for"

Take THAT however you wish.

*frolicks off to finish the dreadful art of sewing*

"No, I don't think you'd be Barbie. Barbies evil goth step sister maybe..."

A lady I work with told me that a while back. I don't remember why.

I feel like creating. I'm filled with oodles of useless, unoriginal ideas, but dammit I want to create.

My ability to write something worth searing your poor eyeballs out with computer static has been short of impressive in the last couple of weeks, to say the least. I should write journals worth reading again, like I did when I was young and stupid, full of hormones and complaints....

Oh wait... I still haven't changed.

Its February, I think. I'm not quite sure since it is in the 70's outside today. I would expect this kind of misery from april, but February? My lovely ice coated February? Not in Texas. This psychotic shift in weather patterns may be the cause for some of my behavior as of late. Either the weather, or my lunacy. I had an episode yesterday.

A very bitter episode. A very insulting and angry episode. And rather than just say that I was unhappy, my passive agression got the best of me and I ruined everyones day with a simple invitation. I felt very used, very alone, and unwanted, and I wasn't sure just how to express that. So I had a fit and got upset in a pet store, and a movie theater, and the van, and a car, and at Braums, and I didn't know how to justify my clinginess. Hmm, I wonder why?????

I fell better now, of course. Because I always feel better in the end. Usually because everything that comes out of my mouth is unjustified and irrational. I still don't know how to explain what was going on in my head, considering my english is shotty, and I like to throw temper tantrums. So to save face.... or something ... I won't. Because I'm okay now. Until next time I go insane. Stop putting up with my and bash me in the head with something heavy. Save yourself.

I can't.

I was walking around the upstairs in my underwear this morning, and couldn't helpt but feel like a stranger in ... well, the upstairs of someone elses house, wearing my underwear...

I realized that no matter how many homes I gain, I won't ever be satisfied. Will anything ever feel like home? What is home supposed to feel like anyway? Am I just driving myself mad over nothing? I want to feel like I'm at home, whatever a real home is supposed to be, but I can't help but wonder .... about everything.

I hate Kroger.

Amo vaccae,

Shaye

Today, my leg itches due to a very concerning mosquito bite that I somehow aquired.

I've finally compiled a stinkhole of words together to create an concept intro for my newest peice of literary blasphemy. I have entitles said work "Halo II Stole My Boyfriend." I think its going to be a couples therapy book.

I do not need said therapy.

I don't feel like wearing pants right now.

I still have to fold my laundry.

Having said nothing important once more....

Adieu.

I decided some two months ago that I would seek out my own little personal vendetta to own all the Christina Ricci movies ever made. So now, for my own convenience more than yours, a list of those films and a track record of the ones I have currently seen or collected.

Mermaids
The Hard Way
The Addams Family
The Cemetary Club
Addams Family Values
Casper
Now and Then
Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain
Bastard Out of Carolina
The Last of the High Kings
Little Red Riding Hood
That Darn Cat
The Ice Storm
Buffalo '66
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
The Opposite of Sex
Small Soldiers
Pecker
Desert Blue
I Woke Up Early the Day I Died
Souvenir
200 Cigarettes
No Vacancy
Sleepy Hollow
Bless the Child
The Man Who Cried
All Over the Guy
Prozac Nation
Moby: Play - the DVD
The Laramie Project
Pumpkin
Miranda
The Gathering
Anything Else
I Love Your Work
Monster
Cursed

I have a ways to go.

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:	Agent Orange
Your Favorite Target:	Necrophiliacs
Your Kill Count:	1,460,221,714
Your Battle Cry:	"Touch me, I'm happy!"
Years You Spend in Jail:	38
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:	$135,282,992,566,185
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 8%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

So, its late...

And the digital cable people murdered the connection in four counties while I typed my last blog, so its all gonish... then the car commited suicide while I was driving it that same day. And the Sims 2 is also going Kamikazi on me and ate all my characters...

These Poetry.com people won't stop sending me e mails so I can pay them cash I don't have.

My manager gave me someone elses requested week off....

This mouse is freaking out...

Anyway, I had that dream again, the one where Ev lies to me about being a chain smoker and I wake up angry... cept this time.... there were zombies involved.

I am having an allergy attack.

I sat down today and began working on my newest concept writing, a book entitled "Halo II stole my boyfriend"

Its not going to be a rant.... Perhaps couples therapy... perhaps an autobiography of my life since the coming of this grand game... At any rate, I didn't get far before I decided to have some Fruity Dyno Bites instead. And now I'm here

I finally saw the original Dracula

Oh, and I became depressed and overwhelmed with guilt during work today.

Its been eventful.

"You're the reason that I want to break down and cry"

And by you.... I actually mean John Travolta.... Curse him *waves fist*

I can't type.

I saw Ladder 49 last week, and I left that movie feeling so empty and hopeless inside. I thought I would never smile again. so much so that on the way back from the theater, Kammah and I decided to make a detour and hug nine firefighters having dinner at a KFC/Taco Bell.

It was so sad.

I went to the Mall with Erica yesterday and let my feminine side dropkick me in the face with my most current purchase.

Oh, and my job makes me cringe with footy pain.

People I knew in Highschool keep getting all impregnated... it makes me sad.

I have nothing to say....

Farewell, oh cruel blog.... or something

half underwater
I'm half my mothers daughter
a fraction's left up to dispute

the whole collection
half off the price they're asking
in the halfway house of ill repute

half accidental
full instrumental
I have a lot to think about

You think they're joking
you have to go provoke him
I guess its high time you found out

its half biology
and half corrective surgery gone wrong
you'll notice something funny
if you hang around here for too long
ago in some black hole
before they had these pills to take it back

I'm half Jill
and half Jack

Two halfs are equal
a cross between two evils
Its not an enviable lot

But if you listen
you'll learn to hear the difference
between the halfs and the half nots

And when I let him it
i feel the stitches getting sicker
I try to wash him out but like they say
the blood is thicker
I see my mother in my face
but only when I travel
I run as fast as I can run
but Jack comes tumbling after

And when I'm brave enough and find a clever way to kick him out
and I'm so high not even you and all your love could bring me down
on 83rd he never found the magic words to change this fact

I'm half Jill
and half Jack

I'm half way home now
half hoping for a showdown
cause I'm not big enough to house this crowd

It might destroy me
But I'd sacrifice my body
If it meant i'd get the jack part out

See Jack Run Jack
Run Jack See Jack
See Jack Run Jack
Run Jack See Jack
See Jack Run Jack
Run Jack See Jack
See Jack Run Jack
Run Jack Run Jack
Run