Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me, I know I"m not a hopeless case

This quote has nothing to do with anything I initially wanted to talk about. I wanted to rant about how angry and hurt I am right now that while my mom can feel exactly how i feel, she can't understand to me how important a similar ordeal was. I wanted to go on for hours about why I'm angry at her, but whats the point? Nobody reading this can honestly do a thing about it. Its all in the past and Its going to hurt, I fear, no matter what anyone says. I wanted to go on about nostalgic moments and give away a whole bunch of stuff I had been saving for my senior speech, but again, that defeats the purpose... Of course, I don't feel like waiting that long to tell people things I want them to know right now, and it seems wrong to me, telling you over the interweb. Plus, as i say so very often, Wes needs to be back, but the rest of you are mine!!! MWAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *giggle* ahem... I wanted to rave on for a while about a certain happening on Sunday and a certain person involved in such things and certain feelings and gratitude toward both this certain person and a certain Higher Power, and certain and most shocking trust which I couldn't possibly have learned that i had developed until, of course, the fateful moment, but this will most likely be explained in a letter of some sort to this certain individual.... almost certainly.... There was a lot I wanted to discuss, and I also wanted to write my speech... but I have not. And I also wanted to spend a few moments letting go of some cumbersome pains and frustrations via tears, but have thus far been quite unsuccessful and have been left rather exhausted. And the whole little thing i scribbled into my personal journal seems like quite the waste of an hour of my life. I'm not really sure if I feel "better" though. In fact, I can guarantee that I don't. Nor do I feel worse. I"m stuck in the same clump of emotional chaos and I have done nothing with another fine day. Yet, as crappy as i feel, at the same time, I don't feel as such because i pretty much know that at the end of my life, after I have hopefully forgotten most, if not all of my memories, It will not matter. Unless of course, I remember. In which case I will continue to be hurt...

Well, this has been yet another waste of my time and yours. My deepest apologies. I'll try better tomorrow.