In a little while you'll be alright
Thats what people tell me every night
But I've been somewhere that they've never been
I was privelaged to call you friend


I do seem like an angry vengelful depressed person, an it does seem like i'm never happy anymore. I am an angry person, but its not constant. I'm sorry that I've made you feel somehow like you're "not doing your job right." You have no job with me, no standard you are expected to accomidate to. You're doing amazing all on your own. Yes, you did used to be able to make me feel better, and you know what? You still do. Yeah, I let stuff get to me like no other all the damn time, but it could be so much worse. I mean, people mention your name and i break out in smiles. I can't even control it. Thats happiness. Even amongst the stressful stuff, I'm still happy. YOu want to know why? Because I was blessed. I was amazingly blessed with someone who always makes me feel a little better with every passing day, whether my mood started out good or bad, you always make it even better. You don't even have to do a whole lot of trying. Maybe I'm making it too easy on you as you always say, but so what? Is it supposed to be complicated? I think the both of us missed that somewhere. Struggles occur, true, but its not meant to be another struggle that you have to worry about whether or not you're doing okay. You're doing wonderfully. You make me unbelievably happy. Most of these journals are written spur of the moment and are pretty irrational to begin with. Please don't think any less of yourself. Please don't focus on my minute to minute ramblings nearly so much and look at the over all. I am so different from what i was when we first met. Changes for the better. Changes that have so much to do with you. You don't just make me feel better for a moment or an hour or anything, but better as a whole. A feel better that lasts.