I was nervous when i picked up the phone; nervous that you would hear the nervousness in my voice, nervous just because, I suppose.

"Have you seen some of this stuff?"
I'd rather not. But I did. And it freaked me out. No jealousy induced raves; it scared me a little. A wrong impression perhaps... a thought for the sake of scaring myself, also possible.

And then I picked up the phone, and whil you were speaking, I couldn't tell if that change in your tone of voice was for the sake of being cute or some sort of sadness. Perhaps its just the sound of your voice that draws me in. While I was talking, it occurred to me that I didn't care. I don't care.

I recall smiling yesterday. Uncontrollably. I haven't smiled uncontrollably for even a short while in so long that I couldn't pin down a date if I tried. The ten minutes of smiling was worth it not to care about a few words in a search engine that frightened me.

I can't make any sense of whatever it is i'm trying to say, and this sounds so much more beautiful inside my head.

Maybe it's on account of how tired my brain feels.

Maybe I think too much. Thats it. If I can learn not to think so much, whatever i'm trying to say will make more sense.