Thank you once again, Elliot, for the humor that nobody who reads this will understand!!!!! God bless Lancaster.... I think...



You Know You're From Lancaster When...

Your idea of Chicken Pot Pie has nothing to do with a pie and you can't figure out why people might think it would.

Your driving lessons involved learning to avoid horse droppings.

You know at least 5 euphemisms for animal manure and at least 4 of them involve food.

You know how to cook, but not without butter.

You know what a Fire Hall Wedding is

You've been to a Chicken and Waffle Dinner

You spend at least 30 minutes every summer day complaining about New Jersey drivers.

You don't understand why people would ever want to see the Amish.

The local Post Office used to be a single-family home and they close between noon and 1 for lunch.

You have ever ended a sentence with "a while".

You do not giggle when you see the following signs:
-- Lititz
-- Intercourse
-- Blue Ball
-- Bird-in-Hand
-- Mount Joy

You've heard of 7-11 but you've never seen one.

You cannot buy beer and wine from the same store.

Park City has nothing to do with skiing for you.

Agnes 1972 means something to you and you can tell stories about it.

You pronounce Lancaster in "Burt Lancaster" differently from Lancaster in "Lancaster, PA".

And you giggle at people who say "Aee-mish".

Your iced tea is sweeter than Pepsi.

You know someone who repairs gasoline-powered lawn mowers, but is forbidden to own one.

You think Fasnacht Day and Groundhog Day are national holidays.

You know that eggs come in either white or brown - and you have a preference

You think the Mississippi is just a tad wider than the Susquehanna.

You know who James Buchanan was.

You don't have to be told what Shoo Fly Pie is.

You outen the lights at the end of the day.

You go to the store when the milk is "all".

You think orange traffic cones are the natural foliage surrounding Route 30.

A "Bud" is not a beer and it's much better than those cheap knockoffs, Hershey's kisses.

The word "red" is a verb.

"Come with?" is a complete sentence.

You know what Donkey baseball is.

You know what a liquid pit is.

At times, you utter things like, "Throw over the fence some hay."

It may be raining, but the question is: "Is it makin' down?" or "Is it really makin' down?"

The verb "to be" is useless: "Does Fido need out?"

You remember when Park City Mall had a flea market in the basement. Or worse yet, a skating rink.

You know that "long johns" are something you eat, not something you wear.

You own quilts and know their names.

You know what a Turkey Hill is , and you've ditched school to hang out there.

You've corrected all the errors while watching Witness.

Rush hour is on Saturday afternoon -- in the summer.

Your wan has vindshield vipers (and so does your station vagon).

You reocognize "Twin Kiss" and "Freez and Frizz," knowing that Dairy Queen is a pale imitation.

Dutch Wonderland is neither Dutch nor much of a Wonderland.

WGAL is the source of all local celebrities and they create quite a stir when they shop in the supermarket.

You go out of state just to drive on smooth roads.

You've ordered "dippy eggs" for breakfast.

The Green Dragon ain't no Chinese restaurant.

Bacon drippings are an ingredient for making salad dressing.

You think tourist attractions consist of a pretzel factory, a chocolate factory and an Amish family out for a drive.

You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.

You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy or ice cream or that packages turkeys, beans or bologna.

You do things "once," as in, "I'll go check in the back room once."

You can stop along the road to buy fruit, vegetables or crafts on the "honor system."

YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing" and most certainly NOT "dressing."

You know that chicken corn soup from a firehouse is the most perfect food on earth.

You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today" and "They're calling for snow."

You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.

You never see any Confederate flags except on the Gettysburg battlefield.

You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

You call sloppy joes "barbecue."

You think Medium Rare equals Well Done.

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.

Words like: gumband, buggie, hoagie, chipped beef, scrapple, actually mean something to you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Lancaster.