Well, I hate to bitch, but I don't think I can help it.


I don't feel good today. I don't feel happy, I don't feel calm. I hardly feel... I've had a bad day


But I packed myself with caffeine and everyone else thought I was doing great. I find that its easiest for me to act happy when I'm really not. I find its easiest to be outgoing when I want to crawl into a hole. I had a very nice conversation with the man handing out free newspapers today. A guy I work with said he'd never seen me so happy and bubbly before. I LOOKED wonderful today.

I felt.... quite different. I am stressed out, worn out, Shaye-bashing, overdramatizing, complaining, and blocking myself from the world, all because I had a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. I know. But I still feel bad NOW.

The downfall to our rush rush hurry up and get it done society. I'm mad b/c things wouldn't go MY way and now I'm mad because I can't fix it on MY time. I can't do what I want to be able to do NOW. and I can't have all the attention I want NOW. I'm like a little kid.

But for now, I'm tired, the caffeine has long since worn off, and I'm all by myself. I sleep.